Behind The Scenes

I am a doubter.

I doubt everything.

But mostly myself.

Am I good enough? Will I make it? What are the others thinking of me? Did what I just said sound stupid? Can everyone see that I’m full of fear?

So I started building an idol, someone I aspire to be, but I am not. I started to make that my own, pretending that I am.

But, what if, all that came crumbling down?

My idol is falling. It is no more.

The emptiness reveals my fear.

But that’s not the only thing that’s left. Next to my fear are you, God. There, next to the ashes of my idol. Standing, pointing out the footsteps. Your footsteps, leading my way. Even in my darkest moments, in the moments where fear was my master. I thought so, at least. You were the one who laid out my path the whole time. There.

It didn’t, and it doesn’t matter what I did, what I thought, how stupid I was.

It’s not of importance how far I removed myself from you with my thoughts, with my actions.

You never left.